right my flight got delayed for rougly 7 goddamn hours so I'm trapped in kennedys crazy airport until I can pass his curse onto someone else like I'm a sickly patient with an infectious case of misfortune, a pawn shop owner that deals in happenstance, a poor fuck who lost all his friends since he got the cheese touch. Whatever metaphor I spiritually connect with doesn't matter until Dr. J.Fitzgerald.K--PHD in wasting my time--takes pity on this jet-lagged teenager. Whatever man. I've got some pressing topics that the public needs to know MY opinion on.
First stop.
why are babies heads so fucking strong.
people will keep making the baby pottery wheel joke until the end of the fucking universe but until they stop thinking about clay baby spinnage they will never realize the truth.
BABIES HEADS ARE STRONG AS FUCK.
no shit I SAW a little 4 year old bust his older brothers lip open just by standing up too fast. Little man didn't even realize what he did. Kid gave zero fucks. Wasn't even looking either, guy used the back of his head. Holy shit man.
We need to do something about this because these incidents are not isolated. My little cousin gave his mom stitches while swimming last week cause he bumped his head into hers. Little bros head was fine but goddamn. The way I heard the event described made it sound like that scene in Carrie but on the beach with sharks and shit.
I swear they're putting fucking vibranium in these kids heads.
also while I'm stuck in New York take a look at this
I'm sorry but the fact the only 2 networks I can connect to are named "_Free JFK WiFi" and fucking "Boingo Hotspot" makes me think I'm dreaming. Is the guy from inception about to do whatever the hell he did in that movie to me? Am I the guy from inception? Am I squandering my mission for whatever shitty macguffin could be found in a New York airport by writing this? Does anybody actually know what happened in inception?
yeah motherfucker the real questions are being asked today. Your reality is about to get triple-decker hook-line-sinker poopy-stinker done-with-your-meal CHECKED.
whatever bitches I'm closing this chapter of goosebumps. Fuck the fans. Peace
-R.L. Stine